Accepting people for what they have to offer

by Tamara Jacobs


We all have such high expectations of life and people and ourselves, sometimes we forget that not every experience is going to live up to them and nor do they need to. Take love for example. We are all in search of it. Some of us have found it and kept it, others found and lost it, and many of us have never found it at all. The idea, as far as I understand, is that you’ll only probably ever find it once – maybe twice if you’re lucky. Why then do we expect everyone we meet to be that person? And moreover, why do we come down on them when they’re not?

I was talking to a friend last night. He’s just moved to a new city and recently met a girl. He boldly asked for her number on a night out and they’ve gone on a couple of dates since. While both dates went well, there seems to be one reason after the other as to why she hasn’t been able to meet him in the past couple of weeks. He’s been messed around in the past and feels like the same thing might be happening again. ‘But you’ve only just met her’ I said, ‘maybe she legitimately IS busy.’

Instead of focusing on the fact that she’s not ready to jump into a relationship with you, enjoy what she has offered till now, I tell him. For starters, she accepted your offer and gave you her number = compliment. She’s been on two dates with someone she doesn’t even know = flattering. You’ve just moved to a big new city and got to go out with the first girl you asked = ego boost.

What happens with my friend and the girl is to be determined, but the point is why does everybody have to mean everything to everyone all the time? If a person fancies you take it as a compliment. Put that positive energy back into yourself and use it towards building your confidence or enjoying your day more. Not everything is always going to work out exactly as you planned, life is a series of moments, a series of connections, each with its own unique experience, lesson and memory. Try not to be so demanding of people and instead enjoy them for who they are and what they have been able to give you.