When, if ever, is it okay to cheat?

by Tamara Jacobs

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Before I find myself on the receiving end of scoffs and eye-rolls, let me preface this entry by saying that I am a believer in monogamy and I choose to surround myself with honourable people. Of course, we have all heard stories or found ourselves in situations where we or the friends we respect are doing less than honourable things. Here I will outline a few scenarios where one might easily find themselves going against their morals. The question is, is it okay?

Scenario One: When you’ve gotten too comfortable:

Last week I wrote about comfort zones and how they can sometimes hold us back. While I would like to believe that a person tired of their current relationship and ready to move on with someone else, could do just that, it tends not to be that simple. Most of the time people want to believe that things in their relationship will change, so they hang on to it. Or they’re committed in other ways- children, house, lease, family, friends- the list goes on. Maybe the relationship is over, or maybe they just need to reignite their flame.

Scenario Two: Self-destructive behaviour:

I generally don’t buy it when I hear this one, but I suppose it is possible that some extreme type personalities like to challenge the limits of every good thing that comes their way, including the relationships that they find themselves in. They feel themselves growing closer to a person, get scared and then do the exact opposite of what one should do in that situation- they come close to ruining it. It’s as if by being with someone else they will know how they feel about their partner. Or that by knowing how their partner would react when they find out they were cheated on, makes it easier to move forward with the relationship.

Scenario Three: When someone unexpected walks into your life:

I would say that many of us have found ourselves in the situation where we are happily involved and then all of a sudden someone new comes into our life and we’re immediately drawn to them. Perhaps they remind us of something or someone we used to know and we can connect with them on a level we can’t with anyone else. Or maybe they ignite something inside of us that we cannot ignore, or maybe they’re just so different, it’s a little bit exciting. It can be tough when our world becomes derailed, but I believe that those who want to stay on track, will.

Scenario Four: The Ex-factor:

For many people, some of their greatest loves were experienced during high school, at a time when you probably thought you might be together forever. And sure enough, you still kinda are, because these people just keep popping up at every stage of your life. Whether you’re single or not, it almost doesn’t seem to matter when it comes to this particular ex, because your relationship isn’t real, it’s a shoulder to cry on. Trouble is, sometimes the strongest shoulders are attached to the arms of our best friend, and if you couple that with amazing sex, you’ve got yourself a tricky little affair.

So what do you think? Is it ever okay to cheat?

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