Looks or Brains?

by Tamara Jacobs


I wish it didn’t come down to this debate I really do, but somehow it always does. Women and men around the world are in constant search for the perfect balance between someone to talk to and share laughs with, and someone to have hot, steamy sex with. And that’s really all there is to it. You can divide it into more verticals if you want… intelligent= brains; good dresser= looks; successful= brains; suave= looks, and the list goes on.

When we are young, and fall in love for the very first time, it’s not unusual for the person to have looks and brains. Of course they are going to be sexy- they are our first love after all, and of course we are going to have things to talk about and share- because we are only seventeen and life hasn’t become overly complicated yet. But as time moves on so too do our standards and somehow compromises are almost always in order.

Too often men and women lustfully throw themselves at untouchably gorgeous party girls/boys. Models, DJs, social influencers. We’ve all been there at some point or another. These people make us feel dangerous and therefore alive and what could be better than that?

Well… reliability for starters. The ability to inspire is always a nice quality to have. Somehow though a lot of the people we connect with in this way… well, they don’t exactly seem like the types to throw us up against a wall now do they?

It would be so wonderful if physical lust didn’t play such an important role in all of our decisions, but it seems that no matter how old or wise we get, it just does. Unless…. We have changed more than we thought, and mind blowing passion isn’t enough to satisfy us anymore. Not at all actually. In fact what really turns us on is that person who we can sit for hours with in a café on a hungover Suday afternoon and laugh at anything and everything until night falls and the owner has to kick us out to lock up.

Teenagers feel single when their friends have lost their virginity and they haven’t. Adults feel single when they have no one to bring to a wedding or when all of their friends are curled up with their partners on a cold winters day and they are at home watching MTV by themselves. So let me then ask you adults- who’s going to keep you company on those occasions, looks or brains?